[With apologies to Bob Dylan - Talkin’ John Birch Society Blues]
Well I wus feelin’ bad and feelin’ blue
I didn’t know what in the world I wus gonna do
Them White Supremacists they wus comin’ around
They wus in the air
They wus on the ground
They wouldn’t gimme no peace . . .
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the BLM Society
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin’ down the road
Yee-hoo, I’m a real BLMer now!
Look out you Whities!
Now we all agree with Farrakhan’s views
Although he hates all those Jews
It don’t matter too much that he is a Fascist
At least you can’t say he was a White Suprematist!
That’s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria
Well, I wus lookin’ everywhere for them gol-darned Rightists
I got up in the mornin’ ’n’ looked under my mattress
Looked in the sink, behind the door
Looked in the glove compartment of my car
Couldn’t find ’em . . .
I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them Supremacists everywhere
I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair
I looked way up my chimney hole
I even looked deep down inside my toilet bowl
They got away . . .
Well, I wus sittin’ home alone an’ started to sweat
Figured they wus in my T.V. set
Peeked behind the picture frame
Got a shock from my feet, hittin’ right up in the brain
Them supremacists caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones
Well, I quit my job so I could work all alone
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus white stripes on the American flag!
That ol’ Betsy Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the books in the library
Ninety percent of ’em gotta be burned away
I investigated all the people that I knowed
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go
The other two percent are fellow BLMers. . . just like me
Now Eisenhower, he was a racist guy
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy
To my knowledge there’s just one woman
That’s really a true American: Maxine Waters.
I know for a fact she hates things white cus she picketed the movie White Christmas
Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight
When I run outa things to investigate
Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else
So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!
Hope I don’t find out anything . . . hmm, great God!
