Talkin’ White Privilege Blues

[With apologies to Bob Dylan - Talkin’ John Birch Society Blues]

Well I wus feelin’ bad and feelin’ blue

I didn’t know what in the world I wus gonna do

Them White Supremacists they wus comin’ around

They wus in the air

They wus on the ground

They wouldn’t gimme no peace . . .

So I run down most hurriedly

And joined up with the BLM Society

I got me a secret membership card

And started off a-walkin’ down the road

Yee-hoo, I’m a real BLMer now!

Look out you Whities!

Now we all agree with Farrakhan’s views

Although he hates all those Jews

It don’t matter too much that he is a Fascist

At least you can’t say he was a White Suprematist!

That’s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria

Well, I wus lookin’ everywhere for them gol-darned Rightists

I got up in the mornin’ ’n’ looked under my mattress 

Looked in the sink, behind the door

Looked in the glove compartment of my car

Couldn’t find ’em . . .

I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them Supremacists everywhere

I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair

I looked way up my chimney hole

I even looked deep down inside my toilet bowl

They got away . . .

Well, I wus sittin’ home alone an’ started to sweat

Figured they wus in my T.V. set

Peeked behind the picture frame

Got a shock from my feet, hittin’ right up in the brain

Them supremacists caused it!

I know they did . . . them hard-core ones

Well, I quit my job so I could work all alone

Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes

Followed some clues from my detective bag

And discovered they wus white stripes on the American flag!

That ol’ Betsy Ross . . .

Well, I investigated all the books in the library

Ninety percent of ’em gotta be burned away

I investigated all the people that I knowed

Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go

The other two percent are fellow BLMers. . . just like me

Now Eisenhower, he was a racist guy

Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy

To my knowledge there’s just one woman

That’s really a true American: Maxine Waters. 

I know for a fact she hates things white cus she picketed the movie White Christmas

Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight

When I run outa things to investigate

Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else

So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!

Hope I don’t find out anything . . . hmm, great God!