Save the Ham for the General 08/07/2011

I was not a real fighting soldier, I was a clerk. I have nothing but admiration and respect for the people who become soldiers. But, I was drafted and paid particular attention to convincing the Army that I could be of better use to them than as a fighting soldier. I was successful at that.

I ended up working for the US Army at Fort Dix, New Jersey as a finance clerk. The finance department was about 50% civilians working along side a bunch of E3s and E4s doing the same kind of work. We processed people out of the Army and gave them their last paycheck in cash. After the cashier counted out their cash the next counter was staffed by American Express selling travelers’ checks which they spelled cheques.

The finance office civilians always looked forward to paper day. Once a month the paper truck would stock the office storeroom with toilet paper and paper towels based upon the quantity used the previous month. After the stockroom was full, some of the civilians would take their monthly supply of toilet paper and paper towels out to their cars to take home.

I would watch them do this every month during the day, during working hours. It was pathetic - I felt the embarrassment that they never seemed to feel. They just considered it a perk and perfectly normal - something that had always been done; something that was expected of them.

To be fair most of the civilians did not participate in the paper day ritual.  From their expressions, I assume they did not approve.

The person in charge of our office was a young lady Lieutenant (“You don’t have to call me Ma’am in here; Lieutenant Linda is what they call me.”) who seemed quite smart.  I approached her on the topic of the stolen paper products.  Lieutenant Linda kindly explained it as part of the budgeting process.  The office budget was based on the previous year’s spending, plus 6%, plus any justifiable cost increases.  If we spend less, we will have our budget cut next year.  Besides, she explained, there’s not that many perks here.

I was impressed with our Lieutenant Linda for taking the time to not only explain the budgeting process to a lowly Spec-4, but also explaining how corruption is rewarded and becomes an integral part of the process and procedures at all levels of procurement.

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The food in the Army was quite good. I got three squares a day. All I had to do was show up during the mess hall hours, sign my name and eat. The reason for signing names was to get an average count to determine the number a meals to prepare. But the odd thing was that the Buck Sergeant that made us sign in would make us sign four of five times for each meal.

I figured that some kind of fraud was being perpetrated, but I did not understand until I served KP. A refrigerated semi pulled up to the dock at the mess hall and we had to unload it. About 30% of the food made it to storage. The rest was parceled out according to rank. “Save that ham for the General.

The eggs and cheese go in the Colonel’s pile.” the cook would bark as the we unloaded the truck.
What was left over went into the freezer and cupboards for the troops.  Part of the budgeting process, I guess.